distinctly.elan

Last night I had the

Last night I had the most horrible dream. Don't want to talk about it. But finally cried it out, so that is good.

Pray for me that I'll pass on my exam for work today!

God I really can't stand

God I really can't stand people who don't know how to speak, but sometimes it runs out into their typing!

And this is why idiots should not be allowed to reproduce. The imbeciles will kill us average arties off. Run for your lives!

DOINER [11:35 PM]: that is were i be liven at
Elan [11:35 PM]: I see
DOINER [11:35 PM]: not be scard, i be in the c.b.t,
DOINER [11:36 PM]: later
DOINER [11:36 PM]: e.c.
Elan [11:36 PM]: cbt?
Elan [11:36 PM]: ec?
DOINER [11:36 PM]: crystal beach tx, you must dont get out much

*sigh*

The Norwegian people have such

The Norwegian people have such odd tastes... (turn up the speakers, especially if you have a special place in your heart for Nelly)

The problem with snow days

The problem with snow days is that I make a serious attempt to understand Days of Our Lives and The Young & the Restless. This scres me.

*snicker* Snow Help Police Track

*snicker*

Snow Help Police Track Alleged Robbers

BALTIMORE -- The snow helped police catch three robbers early Monday morning.

The three suspects are now in custody and are being questioned.
(FRom TheWBALChannel.com)

Tuesday Ten Eight 1) What

Tuesday Ten Eight
1) What are your plans for the Super Bowl?

As far as I know, Allie and I are going over to Jaimie's to watch it on his widescreen. Added benefit - letting the rest of the guys there "teach" me about football and a few side-bets. Go Patriots!

2) Which team will you be rooting for?

New England Patriots. They kicked the Titans' arses a coupla weeks ago, so they're all right in my book.

3) Which teams would you have liked to see in the Super Bowl?

Baltimore Ravens vs. New England

4) What is your favorite sports team (not necessarily football)?

Orioles and Ravens. It's called hometown pride.

5) What are the quintessential food items to have during the Super Bowl?

Chips and dip.

6) What will you be watching during the half time show:
a) The half time show, duh
b) The Queer Eye for the Straight guy marathon on NBC
c) The Simpsons should be coming on around then
d) Something else ______________________
e) No TV. That will be the perfect time for me to refill on beer and food!

There's a QESG marathon?! Hmm. Whatever the guys are watching, mst likely halftime show.

7) Which of the following Super Bowl performers will you actually care about watching:
Pregame Entertainment: Aerosmith, Toby Keith, Willie Nelson and Walter Suhr and Mango Punch
National Anthem: Beyoncé Knowles
Halftime Entertainment: Janet Jackson, P. Diddy and Kid Rock

Honestly, none of them. Except Aerosmith perhaps.

8) Admit it, don't you just watch the Super Bowl for the commercials??

yes. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Wee. I just found out

Wee. I just found out MXPX and Simple Plan are gonna be at the 9:30 Club in DC on Debruary 8th. There's a special early show at 1pm, so we'll be allowed to *gasp* drive around DC all by ourselves.

Alias Meme EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS

Alias Meme

EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS = Favorite Spice + Last Foreign Vacation Spot

Oregano Beaufort

"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J. Lo) = First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name

E.Spr

DIVA ALIAS = Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen

Cookie Orange

GIRL DETECTIVE ALIAS = Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Last Went to School

Kittie City

BARFLY ALIAS = Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Drink

Tastykake Orange

SOAP OPERA ALIAS = Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived

Noel Halcyon

PORN STAR ALIAS = First Pet's Name + Street You Grew Up On

Lucy Halcyon

ROCK STAR ALIAS = Any Liquid on the Bar + Last Name of Bad-Ass Celebrity

Tuaca Hilton

You know, I can think

You know, I can think of a very good reason to stay single. Odd conversation with a dear friend on how I've lost weight miraculously in the past couple months. And I've eaten some sort of fast food nearly every day I've worked. She suggested it was because I was seeing someone the past several months, and perhaps liking someone, that omg-ness of newness, causes us girlies to lose weight.

And so it is implied that if we marry, we will lose that newness and giddyness, and get fat.

Just a really crazy idea. Perhaps. There's nothing else to explain the loss.

On to see my 10th viewing of Pirates of the Carribean. There is just simply nothing to do other than clean on snow days. And the bathroom and kitchen are sparkling.

I must say, the French

I must say, the French language does have its redeeming qualities.

They even have the term esprit de l'escalier to describe the brilliantly witty response to a public insult that comes into your mind only after you have left the
party. (Translated into 'the spirit of the staircase')
How cool is that?

I am so proud of

I am so proud of myself. I made a new list. My Requisites.

You know you want to

You know you want to know what my love style is. Go ahead, click on it, for I am a Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer.

Allie and I went

Allie and I went out to White Marsh yesterday afternoon, in search of dresses for Graduation. No luck, as Macy's was the only place with any formals in stock, but they had no white dresses. The rest of the department stores we checked out hadn't stocked up on Prom gowns apparently, but had a full selection of swimsuits. What gives? But I did get a couple things - West Side Story soundtrack, a belt, an adorable pair of Mary-Jane sneakers, a hoodie, jeans, and a long sleeve shirt. So I'm happy.

And I woke up at 7 this morning to find enough snow to close work, and let me stay home. Yay.

Just a blip on the

Just a blip on the radar screen.

1. I passed my Powder Monkey Tour oral test today for work! That is, I have given a tour of the life of a ship's boy aboard the Constellation in front of my boss and a bunch of visitors. The tour goes all ver the ship, and contains a TON of info, so I am so very thrilled I have finished learning it, and passed. [insert sigh of relief] Now all I have to look forward to is giving the PMT several times every weekend straight for the next month or two, and be graded and watched EVERY SINGLE TIME. My nerves are absolutely shot, but the worst part is over. And then next week I will take another exam to get a promotion and have my pay raised to $7/hour. The thrills.

2. I'm spending the rest of my weekend with Allie, which was very needed. After work, I came over her apartment and we watched Freaky Friday, and played SSX Tricky on her PS2. I swear, when I'm over here, it's impossible to hold to a diet. We've already finished off a nourishing meal of homemade popcorn and mac 'n cheese. So yeah. I give up. Then tomorrow is a viewing of Pretty in Pink and hopefully some early shopping for our graduation dresses. Now that's a thought that scares me. I've looked forward to this year for so long, but now that it's nearly arrived, I don't know that I'll be ready for it. Add that to my upcoming 18th birthday. *chills*

3. Last night's snow was absolutely glorious. All the previous snowfalls have been all slush and rain, and last night was simply beautiful. The snow was glittery and crystalline, except for the fact that I had to shovel off the ship at 9 this morning, I would have enjoyed it more. After Zone, K and I walked Sean out to his car, and what started out as simply a goodbye turned into a massive snow fluff fight. Much fun.

Notice any difference? I don't.

Notice any difference? I don't.
Although my first impression of Dean is that he'd be better suited as an announcer for WWF than President.

(courtesy of The Boston Globe.)

hehe. I find I am

hehe. I find I am so like Lucy some days.

And how cute is Google's icon for today? *yay for monkees*

"Ruthless" by Something Corporate This

"Ruthless" by Something Corporate

But there you go for the last time
I finally know now what I should have known then
That I could still be ruthless if you'll let me
But there you go and I'm not done
You're waving goodbye, but at least you're having fun
The rising tide will not let you forget me
Forget me

States Meme (I'm terribly bored)

States Meme (I'm terribly bored)
"Falls on Me" by Fuel

Bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland/ Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin. Wyoming [and DC]

Just a ponderance... But is

Just a ponderance...

But is the "smashed lamp shade hair pin" a new trend? First Brittany Murphy in Uptown Girls, then Eve at the premiere of Barbershop 2.

Molly - "Hey, Thumbelina, aren't you too young to be out clubbing?"

Ray - "And aren't you too old to be wearing a lampshade on your head?"

~~~~~~~~~

Tonight, in Politics..

My lone observation during the State of the Union address last night. Tom Shales, columnist of The Washington Post, hit the nail on the head with his comment. In my opinion, Bush has made a fine president (in general), but I couldn't but chuckle.

"Republicans on one side of the House chamber couldn't scramble to their feet fast enough to give Bush his obligatory standing ovations. He probably would have gotten one if he'd sneezed."

(Quote courtesy of WashingtonPost.com)

"Current" Survey stolen from Trishie

"Current" Survey

stolen from Trishie

current clothing: red Fine Arts tshirt and starry pajama pants
current taste: Almond Joy ice cream < this stuff is addicting
current hair: tucked behind ears, straight and brown
current annoyance: my toes are cold
current smell: that new plastic smell
current thing you ought to be doing: going to bed
current jewelry: only my heart necklace I got as an early birthday present from my Aunt Janice
current book: quirkyalone: a manifesto for uncompromising romantics by Sasha Cagen
current refreshment: glass of water
current worry: ugh. I already blabbed it to Allie, so I'm good.
current crush: I'm not going to jinx it, AGAIN.
current favorite celebrity: Anna Paquin... "Rogue" in the Xmen movies... I think she's simply so naturally pretty.
current longing: to find the love of my life
current music: silence
current wish: more ice cream? No, that I'll be able to go Graduation-dress shopping tomorrow.
current lyric in your head: "Wish upon a star but / Do you know what stars are? / Balls of fire, / Burning up the black space / Falling from the landscape / Exploding in the face of God"
current makeup (if you're a girl!): chap stick. I preserved calories today. Translation: I sat on my butt all day.
current undergarments: must you pry so?
current regret: falling for someone.
current desktop picture: a teaser poster for Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights
current plans for tonight/weekend: going to bed. As for weekend, that's up to you ;-)
current cuss word du jour: sh!t
current disappointment: that I have no motivation to finish my school courses
current amusement: my doggies licking my toes. Tehe.
current IM/person you're talking to: Kat
current love: the idea of *someone's* pre-engagement
current obsession: Something Corporate. And 007:Agent Under Fire for PS2
current avoidance: schoolwork
current thing or things on your wall: *looks around* This is mom's "heritage room AKA green room" so there's an American flag, poster of eagles, etc.
current favorite book: see above for "current book"
Current favorite movie: Pirates of the Carribean - *8* times since Christmas. Johnny and Orlando are addicting.

"Nukular"... Mr. President's starting to

"Nukular"... Mr. President's starting to sound like us Baltimorons

The State of the Union address shall be even more interesting this year. Have fun, kiddies!

I suppose that whole "neither

I suppose that whole "neither rain nor sleet nor snow etc" doesn't apply to frigid weather, eh?
"Only Happy When it Rains" by Garbage

Cold Postmen Probed for Not Delivering Mail

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Ten Canadian letter carriers who refused to deliver the mail in temperatures hovering around minus 40 degrees Celsius (minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit) could be disciplined, officials said on Friday.

Caines said letter carriers were given training on how to deal with the cold and were given special boots, hats and winter coats. Carriers who could not find somewhere to warm up could request a delivery van to take shelter in, he added.

"Ballerina" by Leona Naess God,

"Ballerina" by Leona Naess

God, I hate that dad constantly patronizes me. He never thinks Ican do anything by myself. If I'm online working on my courses for school, he will constantly give me jobs to do around the house, then ask "You think you can do this? ...Are you sure you know how to do that? ... Take the clothes and put them in the wash. That is in the washer. Got that? Then take the clean clothes and put them in the dryer. Do you know what I'm talking about?" in his whiny yes I am babying you because I think you're an idiot voice.

I HATE him when he's like this.

Which is most of the time when he's home.

On leaving home.. *grins*

On leaving home..

*grins*

Take the test, by

Take the test, by Emily.

Survey Thingy, pillaged from Trishie

Survey Thingy, pillaged from Trishie
"Extraordinary" by Liz Phair

What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
Fred. No, it was Bob. Wait, it was neither of them.

What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
Shall I say feminine lacy racy pink and lavender skivvies? Would that be enough for you? Gosh that's a fun word to say. *skivvies, skivvies, skivvies*

What is the song you want played at your funeral?
"My Way" by Frank Sinatra. Ick, gosh no. I really have no idea. I might go with the usual. Michael W. Smith's "This is Your Time"

What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Chicken quesadilla, lemon tinged swordfish, a Philly cheesesteak from Palmisano's, strawberry cheesecake ice cream, and.... an orange smoothie. Yeah, I'd be too fat for the needle to find my vein.

Beatles or Stones?
Beatles.. I love both, but the Beatles... well, who can argue with them?

If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be?
Not die, just fall off the edge of the world. I wouldn't say it here. That would be too mean to admit about *cough* my *cough* brother *cough*

The person whose problems you would never want to hear again?
I can generally be a compassionate person, and a good listener, but sometimes a certain guy really pisses me off.

What is the thing most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex?
I'll steal Trishie's answer too.. she's absolutely right. - Face in general.. it's hard to kiss someone who's not remotely attractive.. it is for me anyway.-

Do you secretly hate some of your friendsters but are too nice to reject them?
No, I don't honestly think so.

If you could have any super power what would it be?
To be invisible.

How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
I'm a lightweight.. so probably not much.

Favorite Outkast lyric?
*Shake it like a Polaroid picture*

Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have?
I'm loving the brown hair.. it's just so much fun sometimes.

If you had to be blind or deaf?
I'd hate to be deaf... I wouldn't be able to hear the voices of those I loved, or music.. it would simply be a cold, deathly still world. At least if I was blind, I could "feel" people's faces.

Do you have any psychiatric problems?
I haven't been checked out for anything specifically. I think I'm borderline obsessive compulsive, and a bit dressivive at times.. I suppose I just do a pretty job hiding both of those things most of the time.

Siblings that should go to rehab?
Do I really need to start on this?

Least favorite month?
November and January. And March. They're such icky weather months.

First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
The Little Mermaid.

Favorite person in the whole world?
Allie Wallie

When's the last time you went on a date?
Last Sunday.

Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
Mwahaha. I'm not a fan of gratuitous violence.

Fall or spring?
Spring.

Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
:-X

If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Halle Berry. She is just such a beautiful woman.

Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
Florida. Warm, but still busy enough in the cities that I would have a reason to go places. When I'm old, I wanna visit the world with my best friends.

Who is the person you can count on most?
I have to say Allie. She is just always there for me, and I love her to pieces for it. *hugs*

If you could date any celebrity past or present, time and age are not factors?
If I was 20 years older.. Mel Gibson. Yum. Or Tom Welling.

What books have you pretended you've read?
The only assigned books I haven't read were Beowulf (the first time around) and Yankee Doodle Boy.

What's a word you would use to describe your life?
Stressful.. but fun.

What did you dream last night?
I honestly can't remember.

Favorite bands?
Dashboard Confessional, Evanescence, Linkin Park, Something Corporate, Five for Fighting, I don't feel like typing them all. I'm not really into genres, I judge the bands by themselves.

Aside from it being Martin

Aside from it being Martin Luther King Jr. Day (now don't tell me MLK doesn't look like "MILK,") today is also a very special day for another person.

Happy Birthday to an original Baltimoron, Edgar Allen Poe. He would be 195 years old today.

"Alone"
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were - I have not seen
As others saw - I could not bring
My passions from a common spring -
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow - I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone -
And all I lov'd - I lov'd alone -
Then - in my childhood - in the dawn
Of a most stormy life - was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still -
From the torrent, or the fountain -
From the red cliff of the mountain -
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold -
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by -
From the thunder, and the storm -
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view -
E. A. Poe

Pholph's Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 8. What is your score? Get it here.

Sunday Brunch ~ THIS AND

Sunday Brunch ~ THIS AND THAT

1. What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
I'm not a huge fan of sandwiches. The only lunchmeat I'll touch is roast beef with a dab of horseradish on whole wheat bread. But the meat has to be on the medium rare side, just a bit pink.

2. Can you play any musical instruments?
Gosh no. I used to play a mean one-handed version of "Beauty and the Beast" on the piano, but that was ages ago.

3. How often do you get your hair cut?
Not nearly as often as I'd like or need to. I already want to cut my hair again. So every couple of months or so.

4. Where is your favorite place to shop?
I'm a massive American Eagle fan. And Old Navy. Arden B.'s for just browsing because I never have enough spending money. As for designers (ya know, for when I get to be a filthy rich movie star), it's Betsey Johnson all the way.

5. What did you do this weekend?

It was a miserably boring weekend. Aside from Saturday. Thing 1 is a really great friend.

Friday - worked 9-5:30. Didn't get picked up till nearly an hour later. Stayed up playing 007: Agent Under Fire on the PS2.

Saturday - worked 9-5:30. Had the empty house all to myself to go to sleep early in while the 'rents were out at a movie.

Sunday - Church, then lunch, then a recital. And sat in the freezing cold car for an hour waiting for my parents to finish getting yelled at by my mother's incohenrant father.

Sometimes, nothing can make me

Sometimes, nothing can make me feel better than a massive bear hug and a shoulder to rest my head on.

Today made the past two awful days so insignificant. Shoulders and hugs are very good things. As are mugs of warm milk. Especially for sore throats. Even though I didn't pass the written exam for the presentation yesterday, I was made to do a "practical" run of it today. That is, actually verbally give the presentation to visitors. In this case, it was a group of 25 Boy Scouts and their chaperones. My voice is dead, I talked too much and gave an in-depth version, but I'm satisfied with myself for my first try. At least with this behind me there won't be any more dreams of Martian tourists zapping me with their death rays.

So yeah, give someone you love a hug for me tonight.

Ha, and you think you

Ha, and you think you know the lines of LOTR etc by heart? Think again.

A few of my favorite

A few of my favorite things

Laughing at karaoke mishaps.

Medeival Boy Bands.

(Stolen from somethingawful.com)

Finding a very cool book to spend my $25 Barnes & Noble gift card on.
"Quirkyalone stands in opposition to saccharine, archaic notions of romantic love. It stands for self-respect, independent spirit, creativity, true love, and confidence." ~ Sasha Cagen

Finding another book I can't live without.

After two straight nights of toying with the computer, hooking up our new DSL modem and being able to get online.

Finding out about a pen-pal site. I so want to get back to handwriting letters.

~~~

And I had nightmares last night about trying to give the presentation on the ship to little kids that turned into Mars Attacks! gremlins. Quite scary.

When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feelin' sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And little by little my heavy heart sings . . . Excuse me, I'll sit and have my Rogers and Hammerstein moment.

"Low" by Kelly Clarkson It

"Low" by Kelly Clarkson

It should be illeagal for men to be the creeps they are.

Like the guy that always wants you when there's no one else but drops you the instant something prettier walks in the door. Or the guy that leaves you to go cross-country after he claims to love you, yet even though you try to break things off easily and on friendly terms, he refuses to write or even acknowledge you. Or even the freak that tries making out after breathing his glue-gun-smelling breath in your face and babbling on about how great family ties are while his friends are calling to him from their car and you are innocently waiting by the door for your own ride to the safety of your house. Or the guys that seem all nice and friendly and caring, but *forget* to call or email you after your first date. And then there's just the insensitve everyday jerks.

In other words, in the past two days I've worked, three different people have asked if he's written. My answer? A glare and a "no." I want to put this all behind me. I want to forget. I don't want to feel any pain. I'm so annoyed of not getting any more correspondance than a phone call this evening from his mother! I'm content that we are'nt together any more. We had too many things that we differed on. I'm angry and disappointed that he was drunk on New Year's Eve. I really shouldn't feel like I have control over him anymore. But I wish we could've parted as friends.

So I'm just plain sick of this. Sick of being misunderstood. Sick of being lonely. Idon't mind being single. I really don't. It can be a fun thing. I just... want something more.

Aside from that, I've had a completely disasterous two days at work. I failed my Presentation test miserably, the weather is friggin' bitter cold (the Baltimore Maritime Museum ships closed because of the cold, but nope, not us.), and I'm just exausted, too tired to even see my friends tonight.

I feel like drowning in my own misery tonight.

So Sherron shed some light

So Sherron shed some light on why BlogSpeak shut down and my comments aren't working. I was simply too lazy to go find the link and try to figure it oiut, so I went through all my linkies until I found someone that used the service. So on to find a new comment provider. In the meantime, email me your comments and when I get a new service, I'll add them.

:EDIT: New service is up and running, so leave some comments on the last three big posts.

Men and other beings "Asthenia"

Men and other beings

"Asthenia" by Blink 182 -I am totally loving the fact they put little explanations for all the songs they made. It's the curious freak in me that always wonders how an artist got the ideas for songs, stories behind the lyrics, etc. If someone could ever find a book like that (esp. if it was for Dashboard Confessional) I'd have a new best friend. *cough* birthday *cough* soon *cough*

Sunday night I was chatting with Allie, and she questioned me on what I had done that day. I mentioned church, visiting my grandfather, and going out with Thing 2. When he came up, she complained that "it was happening again" - my forgetting about my girl friends and obsessing over a guy. I don't want to that again, and she made me feel like shi!t for it. So hopefully we can hang out Saturday night, rent a couple movies, and stay up playing on her PS2.

As for the date I had with Thing 2... After church, the 'rents decided to visit my grandfather in the hospital. I refused to see him - I was still sick, I said (which was true) - so they went into the ICU alone. It wasn't just because I was still coughing that I deferred the offer to visit. I can't stand my grandfather. To be honest,I hate even referring to him as that; I'd rather call him Pop Steve, a barely veiled disregard for his request I call him Grandpop. But he isn't my grandfather or granddaddy or even grandpop, he is merely a sperm donor that just happens to be related to me only by blood. He only decided to appear in my life several years go, and it wasn't even by decision, he ad fallen, drunk, down the stairs of his one-room apartment overtop a liquor store in downtown Baltimore and broken his neck. Merely because he needed medical attention did he decide he deserved to see his grandkids. Always before his fall, my only memories of him were calling to his liquor store apartment from the street, hand holding tightly to my mother's, her father drunk and cursing at her for waking him up at three in the afternoon.

My immense dislike- hatred, if you will- stems further to my mother's childhood memories. He was part of the Merchant Marines, which meant he was away 80% of the time. My mother was the eldest of five girls, and she ended up being their mother when my grandmother was at work in the hospital. When my mother's father was home, he would be always drunk out of his mind, and would take out any anger on the five girls by beating their mother, beating them, or constantly fighting, cursing and throwing things. My mother said he told her on her seventeenth birthday, "Now I only have one year that I have to feed you. Then you're out of the house. I can't wait." He was never a real father to her. She calls him "Daddy" now; I think he doesn't deserve it and never has.

But back to my actual point. Thing 2 picked me up and we drove over to White Marsh, or at least tried to (neither of us are directionally inclined), and saw Cheaper by the Dozen. Funny movie. Thing 2 is very charming, whether he knows it or not. He's funny and random, and I have the feeling he thought me ditzy, I was laughing so hard. But he's definitely one of those people I can be 100% myself with him. I do hope he calls back.

> What was your favorite (or most disasterous) first date like?

On Family One of the

On Family

One of the really cool things about having a humungo crazy big Italian family -well, okay, the only good thing- is that when you have a funeral for your Great-Grandmother, you meet all these crazy relatives you've never met before and your parents haven't seen in x number of years and the last time your relatives saw you, you were *this* big.

And you're bound to meet your Great Uncle Joe (yes, Kat, I have a Great Uncle Joe) and Great Aunt Tina, who happen to have adopted a really cool daughter named Dena, who just happens to be really sweet and pretty and married, AND just happens to have a penthouse in The Village. I mean, we're talking Greenwich Village.

And this Aunt Dena also just happens to have noticed you and absolutely makes your dreams come true by inviting you up any time to hang out with her in The Village at her penthouse, for as long as you feel like. And then your parents are very awesome and cool at that moment and all of a sudden it doesn't matter that they haven't seen your Aunt Dena in two decades, but they're allowing you to spend your entire Spring Break in *The* Village, all by yourself, with your really cool and chic Aunt Dena.

And that is when you love having a humongo crazy Italian family.

I am so incredibly excited for Spring Break.

> What is your favorite thing about your extended family? Any quirks about them that drive you nuts? Or do you actually like their peculiarities?

Forget Me Not "Everything" by

Forget Me Not
"Everything" by Fefe Dobson

I'm not feeling incredibly creative tonight, so I looked up some BlogIdeas and came up with this topic to write on:

If I die today.. How would it happen?

If I died today..
I hope it would happen in my sleep. I would suddenly lapse quietly into the beyond, the unknown, without sound or pain. One of the worst forms of dying would come as drowning. That is my secret fear, stemming from a few years ago, during a youth retreat in Ocean City. It was late October, so the water had chilled considerably, but a couple of guys wanted to go out for a Polar Bear Swim, and I had wanted to prove myself as one of the guys, so I decided to join them. Changed into my swimsuit, and headed out into the waves. I waded into the deeper waters, chilled to the bone, but still pressed on, diving under the higher crests. I followed J and T as far as they wished to go, and we swam and dove for a little while, but eventually the cold got to me and tired me out. I realized all too late I couldn't touch the bottom, and J and T were closer to the shore than I was. I screamed, but most of my call was cut off by the waves crashing over my head, pulling me out. After what seemed like hours, T, who was years younger, noticed my bobbing head and swam out to me, locked a grip on my arm, and pulled me back to shallower waters, where I nearly collapsed at J's feet.

When I was out there trying to keep afloat, I seriously thought I was going to die. All I could hear was the roaring of the surf and the faint screams of my friends offshore. It was this incredibly panicky yet peaceful feeling, like when one is at the peak of the first hill on a roller coaster, a split-second before the car races down freely. It's a feeling of being ready for the inevitable, but not looking forward to it.

So although I have no control over how I die, truly, I do have control over how I will be remembered.

Several months ago I had written an extremely long post about a high school teacher. I accidentally deleted the post, but the idea stays with me.

The day I had written the entry, I had worked a full day, and was looking forward to the day, mostly because a class from my old school RCCS was coming aboard for a field trip and tour. I wasn't running the tour, but when I saw the class of fourth-graders arrive, I recognized a few of the chaperones, and the teacher. Ms. O recognized me right off the bat. She was the mother of a friend when I had gone to RCCS for 7th-9th grade, and she knew my mother quite well. We chatted for a moment, and she stepped aboard. The teacher, Ms. Gault, however, barely noticed me as I greeted her at the gangway. I was a bit miffed at this, but waved it off with a "she must not have recognized me." After all, I had dyed and cut my hair, gotten contacts, and in general, grown up.

I hadn't seen her in over three years, but she still was the gruff English teacher I had in ninth grade. She still had that brassy hair, that glaring look that made you feel so small in her eyes, yet confused as to what you had done. I waited a few moments, then while the rest of the troupe was following another crewman for the tour, I walked p to her and attempted at smalltalk. After a few minutes, I asked how RCCS was doing, what Mr. C and Dr. H were up to these days. She appeared bit startled at my knowledge of their names. Finally, I addressed her directly.

"Ms. Gault, you don't recognize me, do you?"
"No... Should I?"

Her reply was uncertain, hushed. I would've enjoyed the triumph of confusing her, had I not been more eager to press on with my questioning. I suppose I should have left it at that, but deep down I hoped she would remember me when I jogged her memory.

"Well, I was in your ninth grade English class a couple years ago."
"You were? I don't think I recognize you."
"I'm Elan. Do you remember me?"
"No. No, I don't remember anyone named Elan in any of my classes."
"Oh."

There it was. As quickly as I had searched her out, she disappeared with a hasty "I'm sorry" and followed her new class of chattering fourth-graders down below.

I had expected her to remember me. I hadn't changed *that* much, but it wasn't just that she didn't recognize me. Rather, she simply hadn't bothered to store my character, my personage, in her mind's database of people she had met.

It hurt. I hated to think I could be forgettable. Especially by a teacher. It wasn't even like I was an invisible kid; I had my share of problems, and she had gotten to know my parents' phone voices quite well. It was simply that I, Elan, was not memorable enough.

So I hoped, from then on, that I would never ever be a forgettable person again. Whatever it took, if I took the time to remember someone in my life, they would remember me also.

>> So what makes a person unforgettable to you?

Maybe I don't want to

Maybe I don't want to be single again. Maybe I don't want to flirt meaninglessly with guys I'll never see again, as fun as that may be.

Maybe I'm just so fantastically wooed already by someone that I won't be single for long.

*grins*

He's gotta stop making me feel so giddy. But I love love love this feeling.

Updated and ready to go..

Updated and ready to go..

How well do you know me? Take the test!

(Make sure you're using Netscape or Internet Explorer and you are logged into your AOL AIM account.)

After almost two weeks of singleness, that fact finally sinks in.

I AM SINGLE AGAIN!

Ok, I'm done.

Out with the Old, In

Out with the Old, In with the New
"Inside Out" by VonRay

Even with the flu and being sick for nearly 5 straight days, I'm liking how this year is turning out. When Puppy left, he took a little piece of me, but that's all over now. I simply couldn't wait around for him and not know what was going to happen. And life simply goes on, and I have to go along with it. Can't keep holding onto what was.

I'm somewhat glad he left. It's given me a chance to figure out what I really want in a guy. Sure, our relationship gave me more confidence about myself, pushed me to use that confidence. And I know I don't want to ever waste my time again on someone, especially when they won't ever feel that connection, truly. He never even bothered calling. It only ticked me off further when Bossman called earlier. My brother Jacob picked up the phone, and as he handed it to me, annouced that "your boyfriend" was on the line. Bossman overheard and remarked on how sorry he was that it was him, not my boyfriend. (It made me feel like yelling "Hell-o! I'm a single girlie again!")Not like that would ever happen. I wouldn't expect to hear back from him until he decides to come back to Baltimore. I've washed my hands of the whole ordeal, and I no longer care what he does anymore, whether he stays in California or not.

So what's ahead? There might be a little something going on with Thing 2, and I'm excited about that. He seems like a sweet and genuinely nice kid, and I want to try something new.

And my job's doing pretty well, I only have to finish learning one more tour and I get promoted. Then I'll start working on the overnights, a special event where kids can spend the night aboard the ship and go through all the duties and eat a sailor's meal. That'll be interesting. Exausting, but worth a pay raise.

Thank God, I'm feeling so

Thank God, I'm feeling so much better today. Just a bit of cough and sore throat left. That and some sniffles. I'm looking very much forward to getting back to work and the old routine. Not only because I'll be out of the house, but I need to make some money this week. I've already missed out on a couple days, and can't risk ticking off Bossman. But it's all good. There won't be many visitors tomorrow, so I can in general save my voice. Hopefully I'll have it back by the weekend.

I'm slowly getting over the

I'm slowly getting over the flu... although you wouldn't have known it if you saw me earlier today - when I woke up, I felt like I had this massive weight on my chest, and I was gasping for every little breath. Add to that my horrible coughing spells, coughing and gasping so bad I doubled over trying to get throught it all. But I tried sleeping most of that off, and I've found it is a lot easier to sleep during the day than the night when I am sick (no doubt has something to do with Murphy's Law).

I've never had the flu this bad before.. I get it every couple of years, but usually it lasts a couple days and then it's gone. Not so with this puppy. What's really irritated me is that I've been too weak to do anything, and have spent 90% of the past week sleeping. I hate this immobility.

Oh well. Back to some more sleeping.

Thing 2 called and cheered

Thing 2 called and cheered me up so much tonight.*grins*

And here's the one year I'm actually looking forward to Valentine's Day, but not because of any roses on my doorstep. The remake of Dirty Dancing is coming out that day, with a Hispanic twist. Sounds very cool.

My new addiction: The Copter Game. Especially since the flu is making me braindead, it keeps me fascinated for hours.

ick. "Fade" by Staind I'd

ick.
"Fade" by Staind

I'd give anything for today to be over. Was supposed to work from 9am to 5:30pm, but when I woke up at 7, my body was aching something awful, and even a hot showr didn't help. Ate, but became nausous after the first bite. So I settled in to attempt to keep warm (the heat had been turned up to 70', I had three blankets on me, and still I was shivering uncontrollably.), laid down, and called in to work at 8:30 to tell them I couldn't make it.

Last night was absolutely terrible. I was coughing so bad I couldn't get comfortable, nevermind sleep.

I'm having a tough time breathing through all the coughing, and barely have any voice left.The only reason I'm sitting here is because it's easiest to breathe sitting up.

Sendyour love and prayers my way, I need 'em.

Betsey Johnson: You are where

Betsey Johnson: You are where the punk world meets
the runway! Fun and funky and absolutely
unique in every expression of yourself! Rock
on!


What fashion designer fits you
brought to you by Quizilla

You Are Sam From "Benny & Joon." You are very talented at physical comedy. People are in awe of your abilities. However, you have many quirks which can either win people over or completely annoy them. But you're a sweetheart through and through, and it's hard not to love you.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

:cough: This is the weekend

:cough:

This is the weekend for the flu to say hello again to our family. Joy. Jacob came down with it last night, a fever of 102' and overall aches. I can feel it startin' already in my body, my ears hurt and my cough is ragged. So far no fever, but I'm absolutely freezing. (And we turned the heat up to 70', a rarity in our household.) So yeah, just when I'm getting ready to go back to school and work 8.5 hours tomorrow, I come down with it.

I really can't get sick now. I thought it had already gone through our family a couple weeks back. Must be a new strain.

And another thought; none of us got our flu shots this year.. ughhh.

Friday Five 1. Do you

Friday Five

1. Do you like to shop? Why or why not?
Yes.. I do. I'll go and splurge once every two months or so, but usually mall-shopping ends up just being browsing and buying very little. Shopping lets me hang out with friends ('specially Allie, and it takes my mind of weird events and problems.)

2. What was the last thing you purchased?
The last time was to check out all the After- Chiristmas sales on the 30th. Allie and I went to White Marsh, and I got a uber soft pair of track pants, a tshirt, a pair of corduroy pants, and a long sleeve striped shirt.

3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why?
An actual store. For clothes, I'd rather try them on. (unless I found something really incredible and I needed a medium and all the store had were larges and smalls, then I'd go online.) And for everything else, I just don't have use of daddy's plastic yet. (another reason to look forward to 18th birthday.)

4.Did you get an allowance as a child? How much was it?
Sporadicallly. I'll agree with Seriously Random and say I was an angel of a child and they just expected me to do it, and figured they didn't have to pay. On occasion, after I'd pleaded wnough, they'd give me $5. Originally the plan was that I'd get a dollar raise in my allowance every year - $2/week when I turned 7, $3 when I was 8, and so on, until I got $10/week. The only time I can remembergetting it every week was when I was 10, I wanted an American Girl doll. Molly cost a bit over $100, and I made a plan at the beginning of that year that I would let them "hold onto" my allowance till I had saved enough. They agreed, but when I had saved enough, they ended up wrapping the doll up and pretending they had bought her for me themselves as a Christmas present.

5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing?
A hat for Jacob's Christmas present that turned out to be too big for him, but he realized this only after he had snipped off the tags, and the store refused to let me return it.

My Great Aunts are a

My Great Aunts are a bit off:

Aunt Tina: What's your name again, honey?
Me: Elan
Aunt Tina: Elanda. That's a nice name.
Aunt Anna: No "da." (She pronounced it "No duh.")
Aunt Tina: That's what I said. Elanda.
Aunt Anna: No "da."
Me: No, it's "ee-laahn."
Aunt Anna: See? No "da."
Aunt Tina: Like I said.

Yummm. 9-Layer Cake... "Why Can't

Yummm. 9-Layer Cake...
"Why Can't I?" by Liz Phair

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Elan Noel
-- Birth date: February 23, '86
-- Birthplace: Baltimore, MD
-- Current Location: Baltimore, MD
-- Eye Color: brown
-- Hair Color: naturally dark brown, almost black. Now, lighter brown with auburn highlights.
-- Height: 5'14"
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Pisces

LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: Mum's Itailian with a bit o' Scot, and Dad's Native American, German, and Scottish
-- The shoes you wore today: Flip flops. We're pulling up the carpet in the stairwell today, so I needed *something* to protect my feet. So sue me.
-- Your weakness: sappy movies.
-- Your fears: *short* heights - ladders, roofs, escalators, etc.
-- Your perfect pizza: Sausage. Or CPK's Hawaiian pizza.
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: To be able to live with myself. ;-)

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: "aww" or "haha"
-- Your first waking thoughts: God it's cold.
-- Your best physical feature: My eyelashes. *flutter* I don't know. You tell me.
-- Your most missed memory: Going to Wendy's and the libraby with Grammy - my dad's mother - she died when I was 8.

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke.
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King - their fries are killer.
-- Single or group dates: Either, but only if everyone knows everyone ffor a group date.
-- Adidas or Nike: so what?
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Neither. Homemade peach tea with homegrown mint leaves or me.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!
-- Cappuccino or coffee: I drink coffee more often in the summer, and cappuchino in the winter.

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: No. Too many people I know have died from it.
-- Cuss: In my off moments.
-- Sing: Gosh yes. And then someone smacks me.
-- Take a shower everyday: Hell yes. Sometimes twice.
-- Do you think you've been in love: Yes and no.
-- Want to go to college: Yes, I don't foresee anything stopping me.
-- Liked high school: It had its moments.
-- Want to get married: Eventually, if I met the right person.
-- Believe in yourself: Yes.
-- Get motion sickness: Never.
-- Think you're attractive: In my own way.
-- Think you're a health freak: I *want* to be.
-- Get along with your parent(s): Less than they'd like. (But hey, I try.)
-- Like thunderstorms: Love them. Especially in the dead of summer.
-- Play an instrument: No. But they promised me guitar lessons for my birthday.

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: A *couple* toasts don't count do they?
-- Smoked: No. See above.
-- Done a drug: No.
-- Made Out: Now do you really need to know?
-- Gone on a date: Yea.
-- Gone to the mall?: A couple times.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Ick. No.
-- Eaten sushi: No. It's still on my list.
-- Been on stage: Yes.
-- Been dumped: Nope.
-- Gone skating: *Wanted* to.
-- Made homemade cookies: Yes, but I've sworn off sugar cookies.
-- Gone skinny dipping: No. Too cold.
-- Dyed your hair: Mhm.
-- Stolen Anything: Hearts.

LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: =X
-- If so, was it mixed company: No comment.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No.
-- Been caught "doing something": "Something"? wtf? Am I back in 7th grade? Wait, it's a meme. Could've.
-- Been called a tease: On occasion.
-- Gotten beaten up: No. Given Jacob a couple black eyes before, though. (He got off easy!)
-- Shoplifted: I stole a couple of those chewy peppermint things from the grocery store when I was 5 or 6. Mum dragged me to the cashier, where I apoligized and paid for them.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: Once. But never again.

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: In my 30's. But whatever happens, happens.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: All I ask for and allow will be one girl.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Huge, and white. *details to come later*
-- How do you want to die: Having lived.
-- Where you want to go to college: I'd still love to go to NYU or Washington College, but I'll probaby wind up at Towson. (hey, if you have a couple 50k bills lying around, donate!)
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: An astronaut! Nah, I'd love to act, especially on Broadway. But if that doesn't work out, be a newspaper editor.
-- What country would you most like to visit: I'd love to travel anywhere. Go back to El Salvador especially.

LAYER NINE:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: None that I can *remember.*
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 3, maybe 4.
-- Number of CDs that I own: 60-70. I really have no idea.
-- Number of piercings: Just one in each ear. But check back in 52 days.
-- Number of tattoos: None yet.-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: I have no idea.
-- Number of scars on my body: 2 larger ones - 1 on my left knee from crashing into a tree in second grade, and one on my right shoulder blade from a ceiling fan. A couple smaller ones on my arms.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: A few things. But what's done is done.

I am so friggin' giddy

I am so friggin' giddy right now. Calm yourself, Elan. :-D

Stolen from someone or other.

Stolen from someone or other.

2003 - 20 Questions

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
Drove down I-95

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't keep last year's at all, I don't even remember what they were. Yes, I've made some this year, and I plan to keep them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Great-Grandmother.

5. What countries did you visit?
None.

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
Sleep. Courage.

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 12
June 17 - last day at BCCHS

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Promotion for work
Part in Dinner Theatre

9. What was your biggest failure?
I really don't stirring it all back up, but realizing I put all my faith and hope into something and having it all thrown back in my face.
Failing Health class.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, thank God. Aside from a minor streppe throat back in March.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Hm. A new cd player. I haven't bought anything else major.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mis amigos for giving me their love and support.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
People who put up such a front I don't even know the difference.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bank (for car), myself, and going out.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Junior Prom, relationships, ROTK, New Years Eve

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
3 Doors Down - "Road I'm On"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? about the same
iii. richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Enjoying the little unimportant moments.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wondering and wasting my time.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With the 'rents, Jacob (brother), and my mum's side of the ffamily - grandparents, 4 sets of aunts/uncles and their kids.

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?
Yes.

23. How many one-night stands?
:blush: Nah, none I can remember.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Smallville, Average Joe

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
There's a couple people on my "strongly dislike at the moment" list, but I don't really hate anyone new.

26. What was the best book you read?
So many, its hard to narrow it down.... The Hobbit, by JRR Tolkien, or Nicholas Sparks' Message in a Bottle

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
12 Stones, John Mayer

28. What did you want and get?
a couple new faces in that long line of guys waiting at my doorstep.

29. What did you want and not get?
my license

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Pirates o the Carribean, or Return of the King

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
17, Allie and Dacey surprised me with ballons and danishes

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I could have been able to look at myself in the mirror without cringing

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
Just comfy, a tad quirky.

34. What kept you sane?
friends, friends, friends! Although I'm not technically sane.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Tom Welling, Elijah Wood. Yummy.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay Marriage

37. Who did you miss?
Long term? Not bring able to have get togethers with Eric and the rest of the gang anymore.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Lots.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.
Learn to laugh at oneself, but not too hard.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

If I am living it right.

- John Mayer, "Why Georgia"

And here's a hand my

And here's a hand my trusty friend, And put your hand in mine.
We'll take a right good willie-waught, For auld lang syne.

Yes, I had an absolutely fantabulous time this New Year's Eve. Thank you for asking.

The 'rents dropped me off a little after 6pm, with a hug and a "don't wander around; there's too many weirdos out tonight." I didn't start work until eight, and the ship was closed, so I bought a coffee and sat at a table, reading. After an hour or so, I walked to the ship, and waited in the ship's store with Big Bossman and the J and C, running little errands until Bossman arrived with his sons, Thing 1 and Thing 2. Bossman immediately set us to work, pulling out the metal barricades that would surround the museum building while guests waited to get in, and bringing various tables, chairs and food aboard, and tying blue and silver balloons as decorations. Soon the guests filtered in; this year the Deck Party was sold out, and I was posted at the gangway, greeting people as they arrived. Thing 2 was nice enough to keep me company. He's a charming lad, a few weeks older than I, and fun to spend a few chilly hours with. We fired the cannon every half-hour, using a one-pound cartridge, which is incredibly loud. After the countdown, Mayer O'Malley, who was a guest on board, fired the cannon to signal the start of the fireworks, and the new year.

And the fireworks were wonderful. Not quite as spectacular as the 4th of July's, but still great.

After we had cleaned up all the remnants of champagne glasses and sucked the helium from the balloons, Thing 2, Thing 1, W2, and I were ushered into the Captain's Cabin for a crew party and singing of Auld Lang Syne. As we sang, I realized I couldn't think of any other place I'd rather be on New Year's Eve - I was surrounded by comrades, people I have found to be more than just coworkers, but friends I could count on, people I love working with. I was on the very vessel that has changed so much in me, taught me to become a well-spoken and affluent young woman, and yes, pushed me to want to be better, to do my best in everything, and give every task I am given to do with 110% of my ability. I really couldn't have asked for anything more from my seventtenth year, and I hope 2004 will be an even greater year. Yes, with more challenges, but possibly fewer sorrows.

:EDIT: And I shook O'Malley's hand and he thanked me for doing a great job. I met Governor Erlich a few weeks ago and now I've met the Mayor too! How cool.

And surely you'll lift up my glass, For surely I'll lift mine.
And we'll drink a cup of kindness yet, For auld land syne.

> So how was your last night of 2003 spent? Would you change anything about the past year, and if so, what and why?